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Josh (quiet version)

from Weakened Worrier by Vern Conmey (Could've)

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about

I lost a long time friend on my 40th birthday. Wrote this one is for him.

lyrics

I’m pretty sure I’ve still got the number you changed sometime last year
So I can’t call to hear your voice or leave a pointless message there
Pretend that nothing has changed, pretend that life’s just got in our way
And that’s how I’ll have to think about you until it’s time to end my day

The last time that we talked it was so familiar strange
We tried to share a match to light our different exact place
Machine gun neurons mowing down goddamn you talked a lot
Sometimes it was a bit much, but goddamn we loved you, Josh

I remember every harmony you’d be upset I would rarely hit
I heard our songs today, I tried, guess what I still can’t
That time we saw The Weakerthans you told John K Samson that he wrote good songs
He looked at you as confused as naked virgins after prom

There’s a knot where my spleen would hurt from running too long
And I’m not being mean to say fuck you for choosing to get gone
But I’ve held the bullet, blade, the bottled pills, toes kissing edge
I’ve sunk my heart into other people trying to feel less dead

I wish that I didn’t understand it enough to wish I understood
Friendship is unspoken promises to accept faults in people you think good
I wish that I didn’t understand enough to wish I understood
If I tried hard, it’s something I could do
But I’ll drink to, laugh from, sing of something true
You loved us, we loved you too

credits

from Weakened Worrier, released September 6, 2022

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Vern Conmey (Could've) San Francisco, California

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